Fire ignites in my gut, then flies off like geese in a flutter of wings. I watch and wait, warned by recollection. Introspection is my implement.
So many faces, their eyes fraught and fevered, have wielded the power of presumption over me. They misjudge me, though, mistaking modesty, mousy hair, a five-foot frame and too-thick hips, reflective eyes for fragility.
Warning: I am not flimsy. Reduced by the reek of arrogance, perhaps, but only bowed low enough to avoid breathing it in.
I cannot be beaten by your belief.
Today I strolled past a man and smiled. Dismissive, he glanced and looked away. His dog, its tongue dangling, grinned.
I’ll take the dog. This is the way of geese’s wings.
Hi FAYE!!
OH YES! you are rocking that illiteration!!
fire, flies, faces, fraught, fevered. fragility, frame, flimsy, five-foot
misjudge me mistaking modesty mousy
reduced, reek, reflective
bowed, breathing, beaten, by, belief
today, tongue, take, this
dismissive, dangling, dog
geese’s wings.
So powerful and reads aloud like fire! You used those fierce consonants and played them on each other to create this tactile scene!
Exceptional! LOVE THIS! Great work! Keep going!
Also: gut, geese from the start! circular saw! Outstanding!
watch, wait, warned, wings
introspection, implement
gut, geese, glanced, grinned
sorry, I missed this! Truly incredible! LOVE!!
Hi Faye, this is so wonderful, love the combination of prose and poetry (prose poem?) Also all of the alliteration and assonance are simply wondrous. Admiring how nature is woven through with geese, and humankind, and the dog near the end. Great descriptions also. Simply in awe as I read this piece through over so many times. WOW!
Thank you Robert and Meg — your comments mean so much to me!
So spare, great sonics–and loaded.
Thank you, Koss!
Faye,
Robert and Meg have covered the language and word choice, so I’ll just add how great the emotion is. It is powerful to see the judgment of others presumably because of appearance cast off! Ignited fire to the flutter of wings taking flight…marvelous. I’ll take the dog, too!
Hi Faye, ditto on the sounds and language choices. “Warning: I am not flimsy.” That’s my favorite part!
Faye, these powerfully opposing images complicate the mood and deepen the theme in this compelling prose. Right away, that fire in the gut contrasts the lovely, delicate image of the geese. This is really fascinating! What great combinations. You have fine way of creating unexpected tension through oppositions.
I’ll take the dog too! Love the alliteration here, the unusual images, and also the power of the speaker.