Tool Box

by | Oct 10, 2023 | Fiction, Issue Thirty-Five


When the hammer comes down, the constituent parts of a cell phone will go their separate ways. It is just a beautiful dream left unrealized, but when annoyed by the texting driver or oblivious teenager holding up the line, rerunning it can never fail to brighten the day.


The longest Phillips head screwdriver available is the most effective tool, at least in this most agreeable of fantasies, to give the boss something really worth screaming about.


Calipers, fortified with the strength of a healthy imagination, can be used to pluck the screaming toddler from in front of the television, to carry the thrashing bundle of joy into the bathroom, and to deposit the struggling fruit of your loins into the tub, where its bath of used motor oil awaits.


Please put down the duct tape of reality. To you, I pose no threat.

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