The New York Thymus: Urbane News for the Urban

by | March 2021 A (Day 2)

Goings on About Us

Food at Holmes

We will be soon be opening a new column of food reviews for those of you quarantining at home during the pandemic. We will be reviewing meals cooked by you, our viewers. Send us short videos of your home meals. We will review them in the interest of improving the quality of the culinary experiences of our readers. Our judgments will be in your interest. We would encourage those who have lost parents to the pandemic to send us your meals, especially if those parents were particularly critical. This will give you solace. You will not be without those voices you are accustomed to hearing, and you need not feel alone. You will no longer be anonymous in our great city ––curated by Wendell Oliver

10 Comments

  1. Meg Tuite

    Hi Martha!
    You are rocking through these prompts! I could see this one as a real video show! So many pictures of sourdough and other recipes throughout this deal! I’m all for the Martha Kaplan show! Fuck Martha Stewart! YES! oxoxox

  2. Dennis Holmes

    Martha, love the overall “reassuring” tone of this piece. It’s so freaking great! I was laughing about the loss of critical parents during the pandemic. How timely! The other thing I noted is how the “we” and “you” figure into this piece. And how much this mirrors our current state.
    Great draft!

  3. Sara Comito

    Aaaacck the word “thymus.” Love how you invert all euphemism. No, this not “Sweetbreads.” And it’s sad and effective how we need to feel validated by our efforts toward domesticity in the face of disaster. You captured it!

  4. Chelsea Stickle

    Yikes! This sounds like my version of hell, but I know people would flock to this! The perfectionists, those in need of validation, etc. It would be a great distraction! And perfectly in keeping with Nailed It!

  5. Suzanne van de Velde

    All I need is for the world to see me in my kitchen…don’t think the world is ready either. There is something sinister, Big Brother-ish and also really fun going on here.

    “Our judgments will be in your interest. We would encourage those who have lost parents to the pandemic to send us your meals, especially if those parents were particularly critical. This will give you solace.”

    What the hell does “especially if those parents were particularly critical” mean?? Critical to what or to whom? So much assumption and appropriation in these sentences — yikes!

    Just like the Times to play nanny.

    • Martha Jackson Kaplan

      Suzanne, You’ve caught one of the subversions– particularly critical, I should add, “especially if those parents were particularly critical of you, day by day.” And nanny paper, judgments, yes. Holmes, Oliver, Wendall, and so on.

  6. Freesia McKee

    Hi Martha,

    I’m really interested in this form because it isn’t a column, but a call for columns. This call for submissions is from Wendell Oliver, but Holmes is also there, so there’s another subtext there as well.

    The call for submissions offers solace as a “payment,” but that just seems so inadequate, right? Lots of commentary here on loss.

    Freesia

  7. Jonathan Cardew

    Wow, this is a deadly slice of satire. Can’t say I know Wendell Oliver, so I might’ve missed an essential element of this piece, but I like the way it goes dark at the end.
    –Jonathan

    • Martha Jackson Kaplan

      Hey Jonathan– So now for some more arcane info: Wendall Oliver— Oliver Wendell Holmes, one of the more famous Supreme Court Justices of the US, 1902 – 1932. Formulated the concept, among others, that free speech has some limits, does not include the right “to falsely yell fire in a crowded theater”– and the formulation that the life of the law is not just logic, but has been experience. His role here, however, is just as a sign for judgements by authority (as intended). Note the Holmes above. By the way, this fellow has also been recognized within the courts of England as well. —Wildly looking forward to some bonfire conversations at Synergia some year soon.

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