Jeremy Jackson was the landscaper for
Stream Valley Townhouses in Baltimore, MD. He was lazy and incompetent. For
example, he would mow the parking lot. However, two years remained on a
three-year contract so the apartment complex was stuck with him.
One day, Jeremy awoke from a deep
sleep in his wheelbarrow during one of his afternoon breaks. He heard a noise
to his left and turned to see a black bear charging at him. Before he could
jump out of the wheelbarrow, Jeremy found himself the victim of a rather
artistic disembowelment. One could almost envision it appearing in Hieronymus
Bosch’s Hell.
After his lethal work was complete,
the bear rambled to the superintendent’s apartment and knocked on the door.
The superintendent opened his
kitchen window and yelled to the bear, “I left your money under the doormat.”
The bear lifted the mat, picked up
the envelope, and thanked the man.
“I also mow lawns and know how to
use a weed whacker,” said the bear.
“We’ll let you know,” the super
replied. “Now, get lost. I’m missing Guiding
Light.”
Jeff Foster is a Lecturer in English at the University of New Haven. His work has appeared in such literary magazines as Ampersand Review, NanoFiction, Confluence, Splash of Red, and Chiron Review.