Dropped out together. Professor said: sure? Professor said: beware. Professor said: jealous. Bought a van. Okay, mini-van. Gutted the bowels. Velcro daisy curtains. Fuck off Nebraska. Trajectory=find life. Be a writer. Be in love. Go west: Colorado. Go west: Utah. Go west: Nevada.
Broke by Callie. San Jose–shivering. Sold the Dylan. Sold the Beatles. Sold clear plasma. Topless bars…again. Different rules: Callie. Traded: LSD=mechanic.
Callie to Texas. New Orleans dreams. Show yer tits. Broke by Alabama. Sold the Nirvana. Sold the hardbacks. Kenny Rogers Roasters. Plasma + beans=barely. Looking for America. Kodak commercial dreams. Electric Kool-Aid dreams. Delivering phone books. Racing endless highways. Lonely, together. Kurt Cobain dies. On lunch break. Telemarketing in Dallas. Quit: Day #1. Velcro won’t stick. Cat runs away. Cat comes back. Topless bars: Texas. Different rules…again. If they knew. Living in van. Parking lots: Walmart. Parking lots: casino. Parking lots: Marriot. Free breakfast buffet. Shoplift lunch meat. Shoplift American cheese.
Different boyfriend now. Different van, too. Renaissance Faire gypsies. Living in buses. Living in tents. Tripping in woods. Writing bad poetry. Boyfriend drove away. With the van. With the cat. Snorted some cocaine; off Jim Morrison’s face. First time: Arrested. Probation. Piss tests. Lonely, lonely, lonely. You called once. On Christmas Day. Didn’t say it. I didn’t, either.
New boyfriend; girlfriend. Flowers on bed. Called me orchid. Called me daisy. Swirled like orbits. Fuck Babylon. Pewter in Texas. Toys in Georgia. Flowers in Maryland. Leather in Minnesota. Jewelry in Colorado. Deluxe van, now. Tricked out interior. Boyfriend is husband. Naked moon bonfire. Shaved long hair. Cold, November humidity. Soft virgin scalp. Head against pillow. Van dies: finale. We abandon it. A ruined landscape. A gravestone carcass. A final farewell. I am pregnant. Call her Van. It’s time, he said. Hitch ride home. Back, back, back. Back to Babylon. Back to before. But you can’t really return. You can never really return.