What is it about the smell of a box of new crayons? It’s right up there with Play-doh and mimeographed tests. Everyone in sixth grade had a box of 24. That’s what was on the list of supplies. But, everyone isn’t Janet Stanek.
She had no business having a box of 64 Crayola crayons with a built in sharpener! Who does she think she is? Oh, and then because it didn’t fit inside her desk, she had to put it on the top and Sister Mary Gregory was all fine and dandy with it, because Mrs. Stanek is involved in everything––bake sales, paper drives, pagan babies––if there’s a committee, she’s on it, front and center, just like that box of crayons. Excuse me, but my mother has to work! It’s already bad enough that I have braces and glasses and this face, which I’ve tried to pray away but I haven’t hit on the correct Saint to intercede on my behalf. Yet.
I had to sit there for six hours, five days a week, looking at the perfectly pointed rows of wax privilege! I ask you, who here is the sinner? I may be guilty of coveting my neighbor’s crayons but what about her? Flaunting her burnt sienna, cornflower, and magenta. Don’t get me started on the metallics! It was too much. It wasn’t a premeditated act. I just walked past her desk and the next think I knew, the crayons were on the floor, broken. Janet was asking for it. If not me, someone else would have done it. Trust me.
I get it. A penance must be doled out. That’s the way this works but, I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m a hero. Just ask anyone on the playground.
Ten rosaries?! Any chance I can plea bargain that down to five Our Fathers, an Act of Contrition and a few Hail Mary’s?
No, I didn’t think so.
Hahaha! Mel!! That first line dropped me right in, your voice carried me right through.
Pagan babies, yet, it was too much, hero… you always find the perfect way to hit the perfect emotive note.
I enjoyed this very much.
Mel,
This is so clever and funny! The smells! How we all know them!
Love how you set it up with “everyone isn’t Janet Stanek” — great phrasing,
The questions in the third paragraph work really well.
My only suggestions would be to possibly mention some more obsecure colors and I’m not sure we need “Trust me.”
This piece would be very different for someone who doesn’t know your voice.
Cheers …
Hi Mel,
thanks for sharing. “Pagan babies” has such a great poetic sound, and i couldn’t stop thinking about those two words together and wondering on their meaning.
i could smell the crayons, especially when you mentioned the metallics. probably because you had to rub them into the paper so hard, that they got hot and stinky.
Mel, so good to be back in a workshop with you. I laughed out loud several places while reading this. I especially love the 2nd paragraph: “She had no business having a box of 64 Crayola crayons with a built in sharpener! . . .Sister Mary Gregory was all fine and dandy with it, because Mrs. Stanek is involved in everything––bake sales, paper drives, pagan babies.”
I also liked: “I may be guilty of coveting my neighbor’s crayons but what about her? Flaunting her burnt sienna, cornflower, and magenta. Don’t get me started on the metallics!”
The “plea bargaining” is a nice touch at the end.
This is a good example of what a writer can create in less than 500 words.
Love, love, love. Oh gosh how I related to this narrator – brought me back to the intense jealousy of any kid who had that massive box of crayons my Mom would never buy. 64 with the built in sharpener! To die for.
“Wax priveledge” so good! and “Don’t get me started on the metallics.”
Love the voice and the classroom setting. I could see it all. Starting with those smells put me right there: “What is it about the smell of a box of new crayons? It’s right up there with Play-doh and mimeographed tests. Everyone in sixth grade had a box of 24. That’s what was on the list of supplies. But, everyone isn’t Janet Stanek.” Made me think of that paste we had in the classroom – white and kind of sweet, also with a distinctive smell. Did we eat it?!
Mel!
What a delight this piece is and I am pulled into the smell of those crayons!
I love a piece that has an object that consistently paces the story and you do this well for me.
I love these lines, “I get it. A penance must be doled out. That’s the way this works but, I’m not asking for forgiveness. I’m a hero. Just ask anyone on the playground. ”
Wonderful to meet you through this piece and I am looking forward to reading more!
Tammy
Woah, that’ a tough write – very well done btw. I’m n Janet’s Sid though being a visual artist as well. Cheers.
You’re still right that they almost always break – else she’s likely not using them right.
‘No I didn’t think so’: Indeed! Then siting a string of ‘forgive me’s & Hail Mary on top. Narrator deserves to trip and knock a few teeth lose.
Good writing!
j.
Hi Mel, love the energy of this entire piece. Also taking on the good ol C (as in Catholic) and C (as in church!!!) We know where this all took place were it CNF!!! Love the crayons for being the driving force, and the simplicity really stands out with the touch of snark (you do so well), humor (yes, only Mel can!) and pathos. That bargaining at the end brought me right back to my own dark plea-bargaining with vice-principals of school.
Mel: I felt like the narrator is winking at the reader with a mischievous grin from the opening paragraph. I giggled out loud as I read the story, vibing on the social structure of the school, the kid with the kiss up mother, and the use of a simple pack of crayons to carry the story forward.
Adding the sensory information leaves me with a vivid picture in my mind of a powerful class differentiator that just cries out for kinetic action from an action-oriented kid with an fertile mind.