Stuck, Hung-Up or Stiff?

by | Jun 11, 2024 | Fiction, Issue Thirty-Nine

Sydney Ashley was always getting stuck. Not on thoughts in his mind, but on things. His rubber galoshes would stick like caterpillars mating, even on linoleum floors.

Sydney Ashley was always getting hung-up. Not on thoughts in his mind, but on door tops when he levitated in his peacoat.

Sydney Ashley was always so stiff. Not like a “square,” but like a metal clothes rod.

Sydney Ashley needed a change. He was done with stuck, hung-up, and stiff.

I could be a book full of all the great knowledge in the world, Sydney Ashley thought. But no, people might flip through me and get stuck on a boring page.

I could be a ventriloquist’s dummy, Sydney Ashley thought. But no, the strings could get twisted and then I’d really be stuck.

I could move to Tibet and become a yoga instructor, Sydney Ashley thought. But I have no hips, so downward-dogging wouldn’t work.

Sydney Ashley needed to be something that was OK getting stuck, being hung-up, being stiff. I know, thought Sydney Ashley. I could be a hanger. Not someone who hangs things, but the kind people put clothes on.

Wooden or metal, wondered Sydney Ashley.

Sydney Ashley flipped a rusty silver dollar. Heads-wooden; tails-metal. Heads. Perfect, Sydney Ashley thought. I’ll be one of those fancy wooden hangers with a shiny gold hook.

He consulted his magician’s guidebook, and poof, Sydney Ashley was a smooth wooden hanger, with a shiny gold hook.

Well, this is no fun, Sydney Ashley thought, trying to scratch an itch on the tip of his hook.

Now I’m just bent out of shape.

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