Came decently wrapped and on time. Impressed at first with some good features i.e. saucepan eyes, curls, bubbly burps. Teasable/coaxable/soft. Still looks fine though curls long gone. Disappoints over time.
Used intensively without much success – unable to get across reliably. Tried communicating in multiple contexts and settings. Exercised empathy and restraint, also fierce, blinding anger and verbal weaponry. Tried all possible fixes including shutting off. Return option not provided: compelled to make do and explore functions. Some bonding over shared calamity. Warm, sticky mingled sobs – we can say without doubt that “something sad happened to us.”
Works best with strangers: chatty/helpful/eager to please. Bugs repeatedly in sibling mode. Listening function impaired. Can do if you only need a half a sibling (what do you think you deserve?)
Will update as appropriate.
Who will read this? Are you still with me? Is anyone ever?
Pique Allens has no kids, no pets, and no shame. She has a life in the city and a taste for the wild. When her mind and body are not wandering, she can be found in Paris, France. Work published or forthcoming in Lunate Fiction, Reflex Fiction, Bending Genres, Paragraph Planet. Twitter @PiqueAllens.