1. When the lamp fails to turn on, will Gary:
a) Investigate the switch
b) Blame his wife
c) Curse and sit in the dark
2. Will Gary’s wife, Eileen, upon being shouted at for the third time that evening for something that wasn’t her fault:
a) Break down and cry
b) Throw the ashtray at her husband
c) Go quiet and grab the car keys
3. When Eileen turns her back on Gary to open the door to the garage, will Gary:
a) Shout “You leave, don’t ever come back!”
b) Throw the ashtray at his wife
c) Run and tackle her
4. As Eileen gasps for air while her husband has her pinned to the floor, will she:
a) Be grateful the children are with her mother for the weekend
b) Wish her teenage son there to pull him off again
c) Vow to press charges this time if she doesn’t die
5. In court, when presented with photos of Eileen’s injuries and reports from the hospital, will the judge:
a) Inflict the strongest sentence possible
b) Tell Gary to put it behind him and give him a small fine
c) Believe Gary’s professed remorse, say he’s learned his lesson and give him community service
Cole Beauchamp (she/her) is a copywriter by day and fiction writer by night. She’s been published in Ellipsis Zine, Dead Skunk and Free Flash Fiction. She lives in London with her girlfriend, two children and an exuberant Maltipoo. You can find her on twitter at @nomad_sw18.