(I wrote this from the last prompt yesterday and wanted to post today!)

She listened with one eye closed. I devoured with one nostril open.
She minueted around the flat, flattening F and sharping E.
I felt my drowsy way through an epidermal ellipsis, while sharpening porous
pencils pleasing no-one.
She was bicuspid, pigeoning parkways and bifurcating bicycles.
Ramrod that I am, yammered endlessly, “where’s the remote?”
August cool, undoing, notorious for the misanthrope.

7 Comments

  1. Meg Tuite

    Hi Roberto!
    I LOVE how the first and second line jump-rope each other! Very stealth!
    So much sensory morphing love: flat, flattening F and sharping E.” ‘pigeoning parkways” “bifurcating bicycles”
    love ‘ramrod’ ‘yammered’
    And that last line streams through so much: “August cool, undoing, notorious for the misanthrope.”
    epidermal ellipsis into ‘sharpening porous’ is lovely, but one suggestion? ‘pencils’ to something more grating and superfluous.
    toenails?
    Absolute wildass hoarder of gall! LOVE THIS!

  2. Jacqueline Doyle

    This is great! My favorite line: “She minueted around the flat, flattening F and sharping E.”

  3. Faye Rapoport DesPres

    (Even Meg’s comments are experimental prose and poetry!) Robert, once again, I’m so impressed with your creativity and the way you work with words. I LOVE “she minueted around the flat, flattening F and sharping E”…and of course the alliteration throughout…and agreeing with Meg, I really, REALLY like the last line. So much is packed into that sentence.

  4. Koss Just Koss

    Love this. It’s so concise and yet opening up everywhere . . . Lots of great lines. And let’s go pigeoning.

  5. Sara Comito

    Such great a/symmetry and interplay between the two characters. Bicuspid is a great adjective! You must have had fun writing this. Thanks, Roberto!

  6. Aimee Parkison

    This lands perfectly, wonderfully guided by rhythms and sounds, voice driven in all the right ways. I admire the movement and the ironic humor of the last line!

  7. Todd Clay Stuart

    I love the sounds in this, the musical wordplay of flats and sharps – so clever. The internal rhyme in Ramrod that I am, the denominalization of pigeoning. There’s a lot to like in this little gem, Robert!

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