Prompt one-lone earring

by | Oct 17, 2020 | Dean Cleaning One | 10 comments

Prompt 1

Lone earring

Found last night in my jewelry box. Cheap dangle of rhinestone. Clip on and just a bit of a pinch. I wore the pair of them that night we drove around and drove around, the two of us new and hungry for us. We found a quiet spot to park. The city all around us. The beep and roar of living cars and the island of us two in the middle. You kissed my earring right off that night, I would later joke. And later, you would say you found it on the mat, how you hung it on the rearview, attached it to your college tassel, and liked to watch it all sway as you drove along. You later told told me how you liked how It shimmered the sun, the glassy stab of it that probably still hurt a little even after we were done.

10 Comments

  1. Clementine Burnley

    Hi Francine,

    I love the physical sensations this object evokes for me and how that hurt is transferred between the characters (if I understood well) so the pinch of the earring, is echoed at the end in the glassy stab (great language). I admire the shift from physical to emotional. Its done very skillfully.
    This line grabbed me:
    ‘the two of us new and hungry for us.’

    • Paul Beckman

      Frannie-So bittersweet with this ending “You later told me how you liked how It shimmered the sun, the glassy stab of it that probably still hurt a little even after we were done.” Vintage sparse and full.

  2. Tommy Dean

    Love the patient detailing in the opening and the explosion into this line: “I wore the pair of them that night we drove around and drove around, the two of us new and hungry for us.” and now we have a story!

    “The beep and roar of living cars and the island of us two in the middle.” ooh love how the cars are alive around them, how this creates that metaphor we need for that deeper story!

    Love how he takes it as a kind of trophy and how “we were done” works on two levels, leaving it open to our interpretation! A whole world in that cheap earring!

  3. Kella

    Francine, hello! Thanks for reading my piece, too.
    Ugh, what I enjoy so much about this micro is the symbolism of a lone earring and the stories this object tells: of enjoyment, lust, and being left behind. Metaphoric possibilities for dayssssssssss!
    Your last line really lingers for me:
    “You later told me how you liked how It shimmered the sun, the glassy stab of it that probably still hurt a little even after we were done.”
    “Glassy stab” is really surprising, apt language. So many great one-liners strewn together make for a playful meditation on longing: “Cheap dangle of rhinestone. Clip on and just a bit of a pinch.” Pleasure + pain + lust + loss = my jam (and many other readers).

  4. Christina Rosso-Schneider

    There are so many juicy moments in this little story! I was totally surprised by how you took a lone earring and made it sexy.

  5. Constance Malloy

    “You kissed my earring right off that night,” The heat, the passion, the intensity that is going to fizzle, and all of it wrapped up in the earring. Brilliant.

  6. Chelsea Stickle

    I’ve always admired how you can tell such an evocative, complete story in such a small space. It’s really remarkable. “The two of us new and hungry for us” and the final sentence were my personal favorites.

  7. Roberta Beary

    ‘Lone earring’ is perfect. Each sentence is draws me in, but the innocence of these two wouldn’t let me go:

    “You kissed my earring right off that night, I would later joke. And later, you would say you found it on the mat, how you hung it on the rearview, attached it to your college tassel, and liked to watch it all sway as you drove along.”

    Love the deceptive simplicity of the title. There’s an emotional resonance in the title and story that you capture so well.

  8. Meg Tuite

    Hi Francine,
    My take on this is how you took this lost earring, an earring that is not only dropped, but forever hung in the car. Just like she had been lost, forever assaulted in the car and now hung as a trophy. Awesome and beautifully sparing. LOVE!

  9. Gay Degani

    Francine,Sorry it took me so long to read this. Grandkids left yesterday and I took on heck of a nap!!! As always, you come up with potent stuff in beautiful language. Interestingly, at least, to me is that the one of the things I thought to write about in this prompt was my mother’s jewelry but because I have it in a secret hiding place, difficult to get to, (we’ve been burgled four times), I was too lazy to get up and look for it. glad I didn’t. This is too good. I could see that earring sparkling in your story. Whatever happened to rhinestones? They can be so pretty. Girls and their mother’s baubles, so much emotion!!

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