Presbyterian preachers saddle sea urchins and go for a roe. Sushi sirens singsong seduction, spinach puffs are Jesus’ best wrapped gift. Potato blinis whisper holy water woo to wahoo, yahoo. Salmon tartare pull shrimp tails and crab rangoons goon as devils riding horseback fondue naked crudites afloat a slice of chanterelle mushroom toast
this is so thrilling, playful, associative, vivid and exciting to read, with a little frisson of fear in the “Presbyterian.” i love the many-layered wordplay here. when poetry operates at this level of play i feel like it’s a refuge from some of the sad, even evil courses we put language on and that it’s doing an important job. i adore this.
“Sushi sirens singsong seduction, spinach..” the alliteration and musicality found throughout this concise micro is truly mesmerizing! What a box of word soup you have here. I’d love to see this one double / triple in size, then you can start to chisel away at all you have. Presbyterian preachers and whispering holy water and mushroom toast. So good.
For the final line, it is a bit lengthy with such a dense vocabulary (‘horseback fondue naked crudites’ threw me a bit), so I’d suggest splitting it into two or three sentences or maybe adding a comma somewhere. Here’s me having a stab at it: “Salmon tartare pull shrimp tails as crab rangoons goon. Devils ride horseback through fondue paths. Naked crudites afloat a slice of chanterelle mushroom toast.”
Hi Sheree! This is a beauty to read aloud! Gorgeous alliteration and the word choices, masterful! Especially starting with the preachers! haha! LOVE!
So fun to write, thank you for reading, Meg.