not my February-cat

by | Feb 8, 2019 | Issue Seven, Poetry

language borrowed from 1-star yelp reviews of taxidermy services


one word: tragedy.

this shop lost my antlers and tried

to give me somebody else’s deer mount.

i was lied to, deceived,

put on the back burner and

picked up

my deer today which is by far the worst

i’ve seen. the deer looks like it’s been in a shed

for 20 years: bald spots, cowlicks, faded


this deer meant the world to me.

a complete scumbag and a total thief.


noticed at the time i picked it up: a chunk missing

out of one of the ears.

got home & looked at

the pictures of the sheep

i harvested.

the cape color was darker

& the ears has no chunks missing.


stayed for 20 minutes with a dead animal to drop off. no one showed.

anyone who would like to know more about this terrible experience, feel free to message me.

this is NOT my last words on the topic.


the cat that was mounted is most definitely not my cat.

not to mention

the cat that i have in my possession

looks like it was a road kill that was picked up in the middle of July

and not a mature, healthy February cat.

this cat’s fur is thin, and shows numerous bald spots.

not my February-cat.

cross-referenced the mount with the many pictures i took

after shooting my cat.  there are many spots that simply  do not match up

on a side note, the friend who was holding my cat for me  got the most bizarre mounting of six ducks that seemed to be diving straight down. but that is his story…

Read more Issue Seven | Poetry

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