My Grandpa’s Body Turned to the Oil

by | Jun 11, 2024 | Fiction, Issue Thirty-Nine

I

The leftist newspaper’s editor-in-chief, Mr. Rad realized that nature was calling him. He suffered from kidney failure, and the doctor had advised him not to hold his urine. So he quickly stopped the car by the side of the road and pissed next to the concrete wall. As he was pissing, he looked around and saw large factory signage above his head and discovered that he had been painting the walls of Mr. Noori’s cookie factory. While pulling the zipper of his pants up, at the same time, the local football team was leaving the factory. When they saw Mr. Rad, One of them recognized him and took some photos.

II

In court, Mr. Noori, a well-known capitalist, claimed that his grandpa was buried 100 years ago where Mr. Rad messed. Mr. Noori showed a photo of his grandpa’s funeral to prove the fact. His counselor declared it was a sacred place where a dead man had been buried. He asked for the most severe punishment for him. Mr. Rad, defending himself in the case, announced that he wasn’t aware of a person’s grave in this place. However, this black-and-white photo, which only shows a wasteland, doesn’t prove anything. He also mentioned that Mr. Noori knew about it but never made a cheap gravestone for his blessed memory! Yet, we can dig into it to find the truth.

III

After three meters of digging, when it was ensured that there was nothing underground, the court representative ordered them to stop digging. Mr. Noori added that he had a dream last night, in which his Grandpa remarked, “I love you the most out of my five grandchildren.” Maybe, this was a sign from the Grandpa who wanted to say that you should dig five meters of the ground to gain. After two meters of digging, a yellowish-black liquid is found. Workers have got hush money to keep the secret. Mr. Noori offered a good kickback to the court representative, but he couldn’t satisfy Mr. Rad even with a blank check.

IV

The last issue of the newspaper that Mr. Rad was editor-in-chief published the next day. He emailed us it last night, just before his car flipped over in an accident due to slippery road conditions. He always pointed out that I have a lot of enemies as a leftist journalist. But the headline of his latest article seems to be more tragedy than comedy. “My Grandpa’s body turned to the oil.”

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