Mama’s Cupcake Recipe (All a Stoner Girl Needs at Night)

by | Apr 9, 2024 | Fiction, Issue Thirty-Eight

  1. Forget the flour. Throw it like snow or pretend to snort it, with a rolled up page, torn from your Mama’s cookbook, like your Papa does with who-knows-what, since she left. Self-raising’s best.
  2. Beat the cold hard butter with your fists to soften, like Mama softens the blow, with a promise to send for you when she’s settled.
  3. Stick out your tongue to dip in sugar. Let the crystals melt. Repeat until the sugar rush, like when Mama calls you ‘Sweetie’ on the phone. ‘Not long now,’ she says.
  4. Smash two eggs on the wall and watch them cry.
  5. Twist open the bottle of vanilla extract. Sniff memories of your Mama wearing it like perfume, cos your dad was cheap, she said, but liked it anyway when he called her his cupcake, cos puke, he just wanted to eat her all up. Add a drop to each hoodie cuff. Replace the bottle cap, tight and store away from light.
  6. You’re already baked, so lay out on the roof to cool, with a tub of corner-store frosting and play the voicemail your mama left, when you texted asking for her secret cupcake recipe, seeing as she wasn’t coming back, ’least she could do, you’re not asking to go live with her, or for her to make a single fucking cupcake, cos you can do that yourself, you can do everything yourself. Listen to your Mama saying, ‘Sweetie! Fuck the cupcakes, they’re only there to carry frosting. You’ll do fine without a cupcake. People live without cupcakes. You’ll live.’
  7. Enjoy when fresh, or to make last longer, store memories in an airtight container, or freeze to thaw out later. For now, wrap yourself up in vanilla cuffs, like you’re in your Mama’s cupcake arms.

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