Excerpts from GAMMA LAMMA DING DONG: Recently the Seven Dwarves were in Golden, Colorado for a Disney Festival. Our correspondent, Tracey Adams, had a chance to catch up with these delightful household characters.


The Seven Dwarves Tell All About Snow White


Doc: She was into roleplay. Every kind and sort. But she had to play the doctor, the UPS person, the plumber. She had control issues.

Grumpy: Golden showers. That’s it. Mostly in the shower.

Happy: She made terrific facial expressions during cunnilingus. She liked to be blind-folded.

Sleepy: I’d get so horny in the middle of the night, I’d take her from behind.

Sneezy: We did everything in the sack, but on my day, Wednesdays, I asked her to stop wearing that fancy french cologne.

Bashful: I can’t say what we did. It’s not polite. Okay, I’ll say this- we watched a lot of porn together. Usually while sharing a mushroom pizza.

Dopey: (mute, so just mimics hand job motions).






  1. Meg Tuite

    Hi Dennis!
    By the way, so happy to see you back!
    This was outstanding! “Our correspondent, Tracey Adams, had a chance to catch up with these delightful household characters.” Great intro to these beauties!
    And our Snow White! She definitely has the team working full time. Each has there specialty!
    LOVE that SW is a dominatrix! This is exceptional and hilarious! LOVE so much!

  2. Martha Jackson Kaplan

    Hey Dennis, Of course, who would expect anything less from Dwarfs! Might not be quite ready for prime time, but I see the Gamma Lamma Ding Dong of it– I think you’ve caught the minds of dwarfs, and so many of them around these days. I love the use of Fairy Tales for your shell.

  3. Trent

    Dang, Dennis~

    Now _this_ would be some stand-up material~

    It would win the audience over. At the least, hope you’ll find a humor contest or something for it…love how daring it is!

  4. Suzanne van de Velde

    Dennis — always knew those guys couldn’t be trusted. I love GAMMA LAMMA DING DONG, no idea if it means something, — need more with this! Wondered if “The Seven Dwarves Dish on Snow White” might be a good title thanks for this!

  5. Freesia McKee

    Hi Dennis,

    Wow. I will never look at this fairy tale the same way again. I am really interested in the idea of *interviewing* fairy tale characters and the concept that they can divulge dimensions of story we never would have otherwise thought of. A fairy tale typically has a very distant third-person narration, right? So the idea of hearing from each of these characters directly is compelling.


  6. Jonathan Cardew

    This is naaaasty, Dennis! Just trod rough shod over this innocent fairy tale! I must say Grumpy is a practical (clean?) dwarf. This reminds me a little of Rashomon, a story told from multiple perspectives. I think you could go to town with this one.


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