Is it too late?

by | Apr 5, 2022 | CNF, Issue Twenty Six

I’m afraid I wasted all my young years alone and now I’ll have all my old years alone I refused to love, until I loved the unobtainable, the years went by and you forgot, I ache every day and ask for it to stop, old sweats at two am, wide awake at four, sometimes I leave my porch light on for a little knock on my door, my doorbell hasn’t worked in seven years, I think of buying one with a camera but then I picture it watching my every move, it sees me come in and out alone, but I could see my packages when they arrived I could see if you drove by or walked up and almost knocked, but turned around and left then I’d have an excuse to text, I saw you through my doorbell, but my doorbell hasn’t worked for seven years and I threw away the chimer, back when I had nothing to lose so I threw useful things in the trash, now I buy things instead, I buy doorbells with cameras and racks to hold my sponges I buy wine holder and turkey basters, though I’ve never cooked a turkey I buy hair tools and new sheets I buy wall decor I’ll never hang I search and search for things to buy even if I don’t need it I’ve wasted all my young years alone and now I’ll waste my old years buying and buying and buying.

Read more CNF | Issue Twenty Six

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