Introducing Real Deal Greeting Cards!

by | March 2021 A (Day 2)

Introducing Real Deal Greeting Cards!
Brought to you by Oddly Specific Productions

Buy one, get one for a limited time. Use promo code #NoShame

Please browse a random sample of our growing collection of greeting card editions below (refresh the page for more!), including personalized dedications from real users.

*Yeah, I cheated on your stupid math test. I said, “When am I ever going to use any of this?” You didn’t give up on me or send me to the principal, though anyone else would have.

Dedication: Thank you, teach, I wouldn’t have developed the analytical knack to get ahead in my sports reporting without you. Sorry I was such a jerk. I hope your prognosis improves. Grateful, David

* The last time I saw you, I realized I wasn’t equipped for the way you have changed. So sorry I can’t hang and I hope you can find someone stronger.

Be peaceful, Roger

*Hey, hey, who’s got a new prosthesis? I want you just the same as I always did. Now we both have a woody.

You will always my queen, Mike

*May the pain of a difficult childhood fail to outlast the cozy sense memory that only the aroma of scalded milk can muster. Happy 40th!

Your forever twin, Will (WILL you please have double cake for me, too? I miss you so much, brother)

*I always believed you. Sorry I didn’t stand up for you. Living with it every day.

Yours, Erica

*When you were only two weeks old, I held you in my arms after the third painful feeding of the night and barely fought off the urge to smother you in my prodigious breasts.

Warm wishes on your first Mother’s Day. Love you and the woman you’ve become! Mom

*I promised. I lied. I’m sorry. I’d like the chance to promise again. Will you forgive me?

Hugs, Sara

*Despite the passive-aggressive notes I left in the fridge, I am the office yogurt thief.

Fuck you, I quit. Gail

*I regret hiding my diagnosis from you and the kids. I hope when I’m gone, you’ll realize it was for the right reasons.

Love you so much. I know the future is secure for them with you. Marry well, Pam

**

I heard you fighting that night. Sorry I didn’t call the cops. I didn’t want to make it worse.

Your neighbor, Stu

I heard you fighting last night. Sorry I called the cops. I didn’t mean to make it worse.

Your neighbor, Stu

*I haven’t felt desire in a long time. Thanks for being such a compassionate escort. Yum!

You kiss your granny with that mouth? Xoxo “Granny”

 

AND INTRODUCING OUR FRESH NEW GREETINGS FOR APRIL (Spring is sprung)!

You know I’m afraid of dogs, but I am sorry yours died.

I’m cold. Can I come home? I’ll look for a new place next week.

Sorry I said that thing about vegans. Would you like a cookie?

Hi! I’m your neighbor. Let me know if you need a jump.

Delivering to the continental U.S. for free. Use our calculator for shipping to Puerto Rico, Hawai’i, Alaska, and territories. Sorry, especially to you, Puerto Rico. 20% of all orders outside the lower 48 go to the defeat any type of Donald Trump future.

Minimum order 6 – you’ve got a lot of sinning to do! Always open to new content ideas at OddlyReal.com/

7 Comments

  1. Martha Jackson Kaplan

    Laughed all the way through these! Love this. How soon can I order? OddlyReal.com/ (Love these, Sara) Web site up soon?

  2. Trent

    Quite insightful, Sara~

    Makes me wonder just how often the scripted part of cards are a diversion, for what someone never admits…

  3. Suzanne van de Velde

    This is why I usually choose blank cards, yet I must admit that even then, I don’t always tell the truth. These are wonderful, Sara. And so many occasions catered to! The Mother’s Day card is very powerful for me (nothing to do with my 3 children, of course). You created such a mood that when I got to the neighbor offering “a jump,” I’m uncertain if he’s offering help with her car or making a generous offer to jump on her bones.

    Guess I’ll always wonder about the real message behind the ink now….thanks for that. No, really, well done!

  4. Meg Tuite

    Oh GOD SARA!!!!
    I’m laughing so hard I’m crying! HOLY SHIT! These are brilliant beyond words! You have to send these out! I can’t stop laughing. And then the previews for spring killed me! And poor Puerto Rico! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!
    There is not a weak one in the link! I’m going to be laughing all day! We have to find a great place to send this! How about McSweeneys?
    I LOVE YOU! Absolute brilliance! LOVE xoxoxox

  5. Dennis Holmes

    Sara, I laughed so hard I snorted coffee all over the floor!!! These are hilarious. I think you ought to start your own card company. I’d buy every single card in this collection. These sound like they were a joy to create and yes, as Meg suggested, I say send these out! Wigleaf? McSweeneys? No Contact Mag? Daily Drunk Mag? Any journal would gobble this one up!

  6. Freesia McKee

    Hi Sara,

    This gets at the heart of what all writers have asked themselves, I think: “What if I was the one who got to write greeting card messages?”

    And then you’ve taken this a step further and created a whole webpage that displays a bunch of these messages which seem to encourage, in some cases, bad behavior. The strength of these cards lies in their “oddly specific” (and often vindictive!) messages. This is a great new spin on a familiar shell. Nice work!

    Freesia

  7. Chelsea Stickle

    Love these oddly specific greeting cards! Some of them are silly, some are serious. The variety is great! #NoShame

Submit a Comment

Pin It on Pinterest