“If you never saw any commercials for my services on the old Time-Life Mysteries Of the Unknown Series, then here some’s intel”

by | January 2021 B (Day 2)


If a ghost who inhabits a theater gets pissed off over
an autographed poster, dedicated to his presumed name being moved
to an inconspicuous place and then retaliates –

Then as an investigator of cult pop culture folklore, I will dial
the number written in graffiti on an album cover and
talk to the usher of a drive-in theater, during the 50’s, and
determine that he has a coded message from the Soniklyke system
who think that “War of the Worlds” was an actual event.

If autographs are bought and sold as commodities

Then I’ll have to figure out how much the sci-fi
magazine will pay for my expose.

If they pass
or tell me they’ll sit on it while they try verify it

then they’ll end up becoming defunct just like Starlog

but that’s not my problem.

If a ghost values memorabilia
Then there’s most likely a market
for a radio broadcast.

If ghosts don’t get invited to galas
for artistic landmarks

Then they can contribute in
other, more meaningful ways.

Such as being voice actors for my retcon
of Orson Welles.

Just one thing.

If you’re the trendy type
who likes your Pins and tags
And your newsfeed

Then don’t be making any
revelations about this.

I don’t need any extras
from the director’s cut
of some Scandinavian music video
to be all

“I came up with the storyboard for Beowulf” –

I’m not in the claims business.

Unless you’re offering exclusive rights, that is…


  1. Rhyannon Brightwater

    I love this! It is fun. Makes me want to work more on this whole project of If/Then to really tell a story.

  2. Dominique Christina

    Yeah Trent! I’m excited about the way you used the”if” “then” prompt to bring these images forward. A ghost preoccupied with memorabilia. An investigator of cult pop culture folklore. The non-sequitur thrust of story-telling…good stuff. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you will keep going.

  3. Kristin

    Great out-of-the-box take on the prompt!
    “If ghosts don’t get invited to galas
    for artistic landmarks
    Then they can contribute in
    other, more meaningful ways.” Read as a cautionary tale that totally gripped my imagination.

    This reads like a dark windy road. I have to focus where the headlights shine, but the mystery of what I can’t see propels me to keep going. Fascinating!

  4. Martha Jackson Kaplan

    Trent, This was so much fun to read, and of course could go on and on with all the graffiti of our consumer life. “Investigator of cult pop-culture folklore”––indeed! Love it.

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