Headlines

Headlines
Cooper skimmed the tape from the Associated Press, preparing for his broadcast. He frowned. Wasn’t there good news when he started this job? Weather. He could depend on weather for something less than terror.
Winter storm continues
The winter storm continues, setting a new record for the longest number of days with sub-zero temperatures and blizzard conditions in the United States. Predictions have the northeast blanketed with another ten inches of snow by Monday. Conservative network Wolf News plans to air a special broadcast in celebration of the new record: “Global Warming, the Hoax.” No meteorologists nor scientists will participate, since they are all now residing in the overcrowded dissident compound in Washington, D.C…
He wasn’t reporting that. He’d have to remember to get the puffer coat out though. World events?
Mudslides in Brazil
The mountains of Petropolis, state of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, summer playground for the elite of city of Rio, have completed their descent via mudslide and now cover the city street, all the roads and buildings. Hundreds have died, hundreds more buried beneath the mud and rubble….
He was no fan of Brazil, but that didn’t mean he wanted to exploit their misery. Europe? Maybe.
Russian Troops Escalate Invasion prospects.
250,000 soldiers deployed, war planes maneuvering into attack formation…
Hell no.
Maybe the Queen is up to something interesting.
UK Braces for Eunice
Eunice? Is that one of the royal nieces? He wished his mother were alive, she knew them all personally.
Meteorologists in the UK have issued a rare danger-to-life alert as Storm Eunice is forecast to batter parts of the country Friday, potentially creating a “sting jet” that could bring havoc to streets…
He had no idea what a sting jet was, but he could tell it wasn’t good. His program was “Good Morning.” Not “Apocalypse Now.” Maybe he’d pull out that movie and watch it tonight, after the kids went to bed. Still needed a lead story though.
Covid….
Enough already. Wait, what’s this?
Trump Must Testify.
Sigh. He was supposed to be reporting real news, not fantasy. Or prayer.