For Heaven’s Sake You Crazy Woman, Take Me IN!

by | Robert Vaughan - January Day 1

I sit, lean to my left, away, because I don’t want to talk to you…and those aren’t questions marks. You assume so much.

Skip the description. Critiques, hollow and phantom, set within a club circuit that confers more blue than black, or black as blue, however you’ll have it. I don’t care. Get out of my face.

From across the room a man spots a hot dog in a bun painted in green camouflage, like what’s she trying to play on, some garden abstract or a phallic assault that happens to be strategically placed above the eye of that man lost in black, an eye that disappears when you zoom into the magnity of the thrash and…. Oh, splash me silly, Mama.

Then that needle disguised as a strike, a knife-edge drawn toward the name ‘Abbott’, while three micro streaks decay into abstraction, the obviousness of which even you missed.

In the dark forgotten, the water falls from a cold and dreary height, and partially disguises the goings on within the cavern behind. You think you’ve got me fooled, I sigh, but I’ve been there, seen that. I must look naïve.

The snake you hide is another matter altogether, and therein sits your intention. I give you credit for that shiah, Hebrew or Persian, it doesn’t matter. I see the beak stretched ready to strike what’s off linen and unsaid, like it’s something about Al Wilson, I guess.

I’m nothing but a little girl smack in the middle, frozen in fear below the death mask that fell off your left side, under a noncommittal cry that communicates: ‘Take me in, oh tender woman…take me. Ssssss.’

5 Comments

  1. Meg Tuite

    Hi John,
    I was laughing from the title on! “and those aren’t questions marks. You assume so much.” “From across the room a man spots a hot dog in a bun painted in green camouflage, like what’s she trying to play on, some garden abstract or a phallic assault that happens to be strategically placed above the eye of that man lost in black, an eye that disappears when you zoom into the magnity of the thrash and…. Oh, splash me silly, Mama.” This entire paragraph killed me! I can just hear the voice through these words: love ‘magnity’ ‘thrash’
    “while three micro streaks decay into abstraction” gorgeous
    “In the dark forgotten, the water falls from a cold and dreary height, and partially disguises the goings on within the cavern behind. You think you’ve got me fooled, I sigh, but I’ve been there, seen that. I must look naïve.” very visual and the frustration of temperament. LOVE!
    “The snake you hide is another matter altogether, and therein sits your intention. I give you credit for that shiah, Hebrew or Persian, it doesn’t matter. I see the beak stretched ready to strike what’s off linen and unsaid, like it’s something about Al Wilson, I guess.”
    once again laughing! love ‘therein sits your intention’ haha! ‘like it’s something about Al Wilson, I guess.” It’s a good/bad trip!
    And then that final paragraph: “I’m nothing but a little girl smack in the middle, frozen in fear below the death mask that fell off your left side, under a noncommittal cry that communicates: ‘Take me in, oh tender woman…take me. Ssssss.’
    Holy shit! It’s multi-layered with ghostly parodies of characters within this one who shows up in the night. LOVE!

  2. Robert Vaughan

    Hi John, this is hilarious and also scary, odd, and spooky. It is so inventive, feels like a drug trip or vision like one might have from peyote or acid. The hallucinatory effects are genius and really create an overall mood of fraught silliness. Love the POV in lines like “Get out of my face.” I think this might be fun to go all the way into the reverie? What’s there when this speaker is not in relation to any other “you?”

  3. Koss Just Koss

    John, I loved it all and this was especially absurd, “From across the room a man spots a hot dog in a bun painted in green camouflage, like what’s she trying to play on, some garden abstract or a phallic assault that happens to be strategically placed . . .”

    Loved the appearance of the snake and ending on “ssss.”

    Nice work. Dark and strange and funny–uncomfortable juxtapositions.

  4. David O'Connor

    John, I love the tone and awareness in this–dare I say aware-tone? I love the movement and teasing narrative, my only revision thoughts are name the snake and perhaps change up “frozen in fear”–petrified? or another turn of phrase. Regardless, I think this is gorgeous work, well done.

  5. Adrian Frandle

    wow! the direct address is fantastic, and the clashing of phrases and images were all resonant without getting bogged down with too much logic. i particularly loved: “when you zoom into the magnity of the thrash and…. Oh, splash me silly, Mama.” i also feel like there’s so much coiled and hiding inside (to borrow a snake metaphor) which lends it incredible tension to the eyes moving forward. example, this could be an entirely isolated story: “Then that needle disguised as a strike, a knife-edge drawn toward the name ‘Abbott’, while three micro streaks decay into abstraction, the obviousness of which even you missed.”

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