“Dead Letter Office Tale”

by | Mar 21, 2021 | March 2021 A (Day 2)


To: Giovanni Dilemma


If you want my name, divide the number of names on the performance credits of

Drive Through Replica” by the zip code where you first heard a DJ tell you

‘Sorry, can’t take dedications until we hear your Homecoming

date’s waiver’ and you can have my alias.

The cost of the DLO return collection fee has gone up exponentially.

You’re in luck though!


I’m in the safe house business.

I ran one in Erie (unverified).


Did you know the term for restroom graffiti is latrinalia?

Don’t bother asking me what the term is for finding
some unintended info on some discarded cargo card.

Got the info on some safe deposit box.
All the dough from those letters.

I can cut you in on a few centuries.

Meet me where Hall & Oates had their third choice
for the album cover for “Abandoned Luncheonette” because
you’re the only one who can find the place.

I’m gonna buy it and sell admission to fans.
The other trackers are all off the lode.

So, if you can do it, I’ll give the cut I promised.
By your moll’s next court date, as long as it’s a surprise.

That’s flat.



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