“Dead Letter Office Tale”

by | March 2021 A (Day 2)

 

To: Giovanni Dilemma

From:

If you want my name, divide the number of names on the performance credits of

Drive Through Replica” by the zip code where you first heard a DJ tell you

‘Sorry, can’t take dedications until we hear your Homecoming

date’s waiver’ and you can have my alias.

The cost of the DLO return collection fee has gone up exponentially.

You’re in luck though!

 

I’m in the safe house business.

I ran one in Erie (unverified).

 

Did you know the term for restroom graffiti is latrinalia?

Don’t bother asking me what the term is for finding
some unintended info on some discarded cargo card.

Got the info on some safe deposit box.
All the dough from those letters.

I can cut you in on a few centuries.

Meet me where Hall & Oates had their third choice
for the album cover for “Abandoned Luncheonette” because
you’re the only one who can find the place.

I’m gonna buy it and sell admission to fans.
The other trackers are all off the lode.

So, if you can do it, I’ll give the cut I promised.
By your moll’s next court date, as long as it’s a surprise.

That’s flat.

 

 

7 Comments

  1. Trent

    Alrighty-o~

    Ran across a dead letter office/ receipt form for a possible collage.
    Figured the name lends itself to some chicanery. Don’t see the name around nowadays, but man, did the name ever
    invite some mocking.
    And, honestly, I think y’all expect some vintage weird from me, so!
    By the way, “century” here is noir slang for hundred dollar bill.

  2. Martha Jackson Kaplan

    Trent, You’ve got it– vintage weird, and I love it. Can’t translate most of it and yet it still sings. Or perhaps a better attribution is to say I love looking through a peephole into a whole world of wondrous diction– well adapted to this, our plenty weird world. For translation — a gloss would be great. For the sheer mystery of it, no gloss. Dead letter office receipt, what a great crab shell!

  3. Dennis Holmes

    Trent, this is food for the strange… or how I felt at a 70s Dead show on microdot! Love the oddness and peculiarity of the specifics. Love invented words, and worlds. Love how free form and vintage weird, reminded me of some of my favorite (stranger) current writers like Lydia Lunch, Harryette Mullen, Kathy Acker. I think writing in this vein is something that takes great risk, and a freeing up of convention. Really appreciate that.

  4. Meg Tuite

    Hi Trent!
    Once again, I laughed my ass off! OMG! Especially “Meet me where Hall & Oates had their third choice
    for the album cover for “Abandoned Luncheonette” because
    you’re the only one who can find the place.” And the name for bathroom graffitti!
    This is outstanding! Truly vintage brilliance! LOVE!

  5. Sara Comito

    “I’m in the safe house business.
    I ran one in Erie (unverified).”

    I enjoy when a speaker calls themselves out for maybe not being quite reliable. And I don’t need to parse every piece of this transaction, but it surely has the vibe of transaction, a flippant tone, and address to someone with specific intimate knowledge of the speaker. It’s an inside job that way, it seems. Glad to be a fly of the latrine wall for the jivey negotiations. Thanks, Trent!

  6. Freesia McKee

    Hi Trent,

    I agree with everyone that there is a general vibe of weirdness here. Tonally, this piece has a bargaining, antagonistic flavor of character. It almost sounds a riddle, perhaps?

    I have always been intrigued by the idea of dead letter offices and what one might find there!

    Freesia

Submit a Comment

Pin It on Pinterest