I am watching the TLC show about the Duggar family and groaning because purity culture is so damaging but I can’t stop watching another courtship another wedding another baby and did you know that Derick got kicked off the show because he said something transphobic on Twitter and nobody on Reddit is sure whether he forced his wife Jill to quit the show or if she quit the show on her own in solidarity but regardless I’m on the season in which 19-year-old Joy gets married and she keeps saying things like I don’t care what my wedding dress looks like as long as my man likes it and I wish I could reach through the tv to hold her and gently encourage her to be her own person because I know what it’s like to build a home inside someone else’s opinions of you and this world is too big and wonderful to keep yourself from yourself.
Rachel Tanner is a queer, disabled writer whose work has recently appeared in Moonchild Magazine, Barren Magazine, Peach Mag, and elsewhere. She tweets @rickit.