COMEDOWN

ACT 1 – BONE RUSH

I wanna wreck bones, break necks; I wanna break them in everyone that enrages me. I can’t and I don’t, I just really feel like doing it some times. Most of the times I don’t let myself give it much thought, but my god, sometimes I let it drive me nuts.

I do. Because I go and let all my emotions fester into anger and I drown in jealousy often. I claw at myself and curse my own skin for not being anything but exactly what it is.

Hitting holes in walls just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I need to hear the crush in someone’s body once I’ve stomped it. How come? What the fuck is wrong with me?

ACT 2 – PAPER KNIVES

I like slashing my skin with whatever I find, with whatever I can get my hands on, no matter how harsh.

So much so, that now I wish I could use a machete. I like everything about it. It looks so violent, it cuts so smooth.

See, I just popped four in a row, and I’m cutting my face with broken bottles. Watching the red drip onto my chest. I can’t help myself, I crave this mess; I like watching myself bleed, I like the hurt, and, more that anything, I love the taste of iron against my toungue.

ACT 3 – VAMPIRISM

I need to taste my blood once every so many days or I go (more) insane than I already am, which is saying something.

I need to savor myself like only ghouls would imagine to do. I want it, I crave it, I need it.

It’s like nothing I have ever tasted, and I’m si I, addicted, I can’t stop cutting myself for the thrill of the taste. I’m even starting to grow numb to the pain.

ACT 4 – BOUNDARY ISSUES

I’m not sure how I ende up this way, it was a safety reflex. From what? I dont know what they did to me, I don’t understand it; all I know is the residual problems I deal with.

I hurt myself again and again and I write it off talking about patterns and paraphilias I got from the hurting in the first place.

And what’s some how worse is, I can’t set a limit to save my life. Literally. Not for myself, not for someone else, I’m running rampant unable to tell when it’s time to stop.

ACT 5 – HALLUCINATIONS

What if I told you, on top of everything else, I see and hear things that aren’t there? What then? What now?

Because obviously this is as close as crying out for help as I can get. But help from what? I’m closing in on it, but by all means, I’m hanging in there just well.

ACT 6 – DOWNFALL

So what should I do now? Now that I’ve aceptes my rage and my jealousy and my selfharm and my innuendos and my hallucinations, what happens now? Do I chop off three of my fingers and say them on backwards to turn this into body horror? It’s the last option I have short of getting help for my shortcommings and such.

I could, instead, knock off a few of my teeth and go to the dentist to get anesthetics and be numb for a bit.

I guess I’ll throw a coin; heads I go numb, tails I get help.