Boxes filled with empty promises of love
filled to the brim with clothes and shoes
nothing I would ever wear
empty promises
these are excuses to spend money
to use money and objects in order to prove our love.
I was always dreamy but also perspicacious
and as a child instead of new shoes I wanted
to watch the bees as they descended
upon the yellowness of the flower
but things like that were not normal so said the adults
things like that were beyond a child’s comprehension
and especially for one who stuttered as I did
who couldn’t even shape her lips to make sounds
(sounds forced upon me too soon!)
but who could write by the time she was four
a fact hidden by all because nobody wanted
her to surpass their sons.
What does it mean to be held back by those
who created you?
Is it love?
Or is it possession?
And is possession really protection?
But I shouldn’t kid myself.
Either way, I would have ended up in the same
exact spot
wiping my bloody nose
on the apron
barefoot in the kitchen
but with an empty fridge
mouths waiting for me to feed them.
Alma Pasic is a California-based poet and playwright. Her collection of poems Whispers, Glances is available on Amazon. When not writing, Alma works as a historian.