He wasn’t religious. But he’d read the Bible, front to back.

He wasn’t college educated. But he knew right from wrong. When he stole the motel ash tray inscribed, “Thou Shall Not Steal – 5th Commandment,” he knew it was wrong: It’s the 8th commandment, not the 5th.

He wasn’t poor. But he didn’t waste. “Proverbs 21: The wise store up food, but fools gulp theirs down.” He purchased only Acme-brand food staples, plus cheap hooch to make his favorite drink, a Noah’s Ark: Two ice cubes, two fingers of water, two fingers of spirits. Substituted OJ for water at breakfast to avoid scurvy.

He wasn’t powerful. But he won a lawsuit against his corporate employer. “Samuel 17: Goliath fell to his knees.” The conveyor belt had crushed his right hand, crunching down and gobbling up his whole palm. Doctors left him just a shiny stump, but with his winnings he could afford all the aged Jack Daniels he wanted, the only whiskey mellowed with sugar maple charcoal. “Proverbs 3: Do not whithold good.”

He wasn’t lonely. But aside from quoting the Good Book, he didn’t talk much. Spent most of his time alone with Jack. Because “Ecclesiastes 4: “By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend, you can face the worst.” Together they listened as cooing pigeons fluttered up from the pavement, sounding like angels soaring toward the heavens.

Pin It on Pinterest