A Recipe For Surviving High-school (Gay Edition)

by | Oct 14, 2025 | CNF, Issue Forty-Seven

Ingredients:

  • Clean, folded clothes
  • Noise-canceling earbuds
  • A secret crush (measured carefully)
  • A loud voice
  • Ignored texts at 2am
  • Notebook (Optional for added flavor)

  1. Go to school with confidence in your outfits. Never feel like you have to be more “masculine” or like the other guys.
  2. It’s okay to like theater and hate sports. Focus on your talents. Not what would make you look better.
  3. The hallways love the f-word. Turn the volume up. I use Pinkpantheress as seasoning.
  4. Use your secret crush sparingly. “He was so nice to me today.” Now it’s time to get over it. Ninety-nine percent chance he’s straight with an invisible margin of error.
  5. Cafeterias have many trash cans. Discard the friends who only treat you well if you shine like their purses.
  6. Don’t engage with the boys who text you “wyd” during the night. They’re insecure and fragile. We deserve better.
  7. Write your story in a notebook. One day, I want to read it. Just like you’re reading this now.
  8. Better recipes come from more ingredients. I’m still figuring out which ones don’t poison me.

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