Jeremy Jackson was the landscaper for Stream Valley Townhouses in Baltimore, MD. He was lazy and incompetent. For example, he would mow the parking lot. However, two years remained on a three-year contract so the apartment complex was stuck with him.
     One day, Jeremy awoke from a deep sleep in his wheelbarrow during one of his afternoon breaks. He heard a noise to his left and turned to see a black bear charging at him. Before he could jump out of the wheelbarrow, Jeremy found himself the victim of a rather artistic disembowelment. One could almost envision it appearing in Hieronymus Bosch’s Hell.
     After his lethal work was complete, the bear rambled to the superintendent’s apartment and knocked on the door.
     The superintendent opened his kitchen window and yelled to the bear, “I left your money under the doormat.”
     The bear lifted the mat, picked up the envelope, and thanked the man.
     “I also mow lawns and know how to use a weed whacker,” said the bear.
     “We’ll let you know,” the super replied. “Now, get lost. I’m missing Guiding Light.”

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