patron saint of lost bagels

for evan

(#86 most popular boy’s name)

you know who you are

i stiffen :: is it wrong that : thomas rhett gave me light crabs : charlie puth made that choking noise : nick jonas said to cover my face : is it right that

you are my :: war with loneliness : 30-day trial : rubber duckie in alligator-infested waters : undeserving love : made in china : love 1994 : per-my-last-email : cat’s paw : beast of burden : little nap : long bath : second favorite : pure love idiot : brainwashed little prince : daily forbidden fruit : not-necessarily : winner-takes-all : better-than-you : eureka moment : hand of god : lucky draw : moonless night : moonlit pool : ghost ship : heavenly kingdom : weather of love : right as rain : hot 100 : lightning in a bottle : so close : so far : so what : faulty parachute : search for black box : sea to shining sea : kennedy curse : kennedy hair : whiteboy : branches of government : united states of : shit sandwich : past life : worth-waiting-for : chat a little, dance a little : charity lover : 10 seconds later : honeymoon suite : boyfriend in prada : blacked out : red white blue : buzz lightyear : no. 0 : beef with broccoli : wild child : cheap love song : genius children 1985 : private tutor : spellcheck’s worst nightmare : unhappy hour : 10 years later : lost love museum : love in the wrong universe : paris hilton : queen of jordan : tamil tiger : honeyed sun : black rainbow : dumpster fire : hungry hungry hippo : wonton : cheat day : question mark : dictionary and bible : red carpet ready : ugly gurls b quiet : chillin with no makeup on : whereabouts unknown : every thursday : that-should-be-me : pumpkin carriage : pumpkin spice : september : june and december : watergate : still got it : cobwebs : crickets : human search engine : human decoder ring : japanese robot : one-eyed jack : loose sleeve of wizard : intern like alexander skarsgård : intern with huge dick : call me maybe : this time next week : goodbye : wawa cherry icee : some personal news : peach emoji : peach emoji : peach emoji

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please pardon our appearance

                                                leonie hill

                                    up

                        up

            up       

whiteboy in athletic shorts                  smoking in the gazebo                                    guero  

eyes like ivy                hair like maple                        more leg than a bucket of chicken

ninja turtles lunchbox             pb&j                            half-eaten apple

drives in stanley park              old money shaughnessy                      canadian flags flapping          

sheepskin rug              homemade zhajiangmian

                                                                                    novi high school, novi, mich.

varsity jacket  heavy sleeves of calf  smells like you                        she asks where it is

she is not for you        i am for you                okay

last gasp of summer                red cardinals                           blue jays in my backyard          

                        your head on my chest                        my heart beating for you

this is our song                        you say                        like a threat

you join debate club               for me             our fingers interlace

stairwell          senior prom                 she sees                       she cries          we keep going

you tell your friends you love chinese food   a little joke      i guess             you still taste good

            lazy afternoons in the kitchen            no longer an island

the dumplings aren’t successful                     but the meatballs are

            i meet the juices running down your throat                adam’s apple like hard seed

i trace your dimples with my finger  

my dreamboat             my kurt cobain                        my love astronaut

because america needs someone to believe in

me       ???       unsheathed like a dagger        third eye         

glowing like three mile island

remembering you                    in my bunny slippers

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