Boxes filled with empty promises of love

filled to the brim with clothes and shoes

nothing I would ever wear

empty promises

these are excuses to spend money

to use money and objects in order to prove our love.

 

I was always dreamy but also perspicacious

and as a child instead of new shoes I wanted

to watch the bees as they descended

upon the yellowness of the flower

but things like that were not normal so said the adults

things like that were beyond a child’s comprehension

and especially for one who stuttered as I did

who couldn’t even shape her lips to make sounds

(sounds forced upon me too soon!)

but who could write by the time she was four

a fact hidden by all because nobody wanted

her to surpass their sons.

 

What does it mean to be held back by those

who created you?

Is it love?

Or is it possession?

And is possession really protection?

But I shouldn’t kid myself.

Either way, I would have ended up in the same

exact spot

wiping my bloody nose

on the apron

barefoot in the kitchen

but with an empty fridge

mouths waiting for me to feed them.

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