I mean, possibly. Nothing’s beyond the conceivable, especially when Stohlman’s in the car. When she’s driving it, and it’s a clown car, and one of the clown’s in the upside down position “because Marty needs a break,” anything becomes possible (like fantasy handjobs from Karl Marx or Bette Midler or Moses…or Moranis!).

Also, driving along with/ reading Stohlman you’ll learn some fun facts!!

[Fun Facts Section]

—Most spoons balanced on face: 31

—A week before his death two men broke into Houdini’s dressing room, yelling “Do you believe in the miracles of the Bible?” while repeatedly punching him in the gut

—Coulrophobia, or Clownophobia, is the fear of clowns

[End Fun Facts Section]

In essence, Oddities is just that—a carnival ride through fame, misfortune, and more misfortune. Usually all three at once, with a cheap bottle of absinthe thrown in. True, there are the freaks (the Human Skeleton, the Ape Lady, the Electric Lady, Boy with Breasts, etc. etc.) but Stohlman holds a mirror to our own vanities and insecurities like we’re wobbling through our own peculiar halls of mirrors.

Rick Moranis—you wouldn’t, would you? Would you? Would you? Would you?

[echo chamber fade out…]

To receive a signed copy of Madam Velvet Cabaret of Oddities, go here:

Books

Or, you can get a copy of Madam Velvet’s Cabaret of Oddities (Big Table Publishing, 2018) here:

Jonathan Cardew’s writing appears or is forthcoming in Wigleaf, Cream City Review, Passages North, Superstition Review, JMWW, Smokelong Quarterly, People Holding, and others. He is the fiction editor for Connotation Press and contributing books reviewer for Flash: The International Short-Short Story Magazine. He’s been a finalist in the Best Small Fictions, the Wigleaf Top 50, the Bath Flash Fiction Award, and he won a travel toothbrush once at a boules competition in northern Brittany. Originally from the UK, he lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

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