In my teens, it grossed me out, people having sex past thirty. In my twenties, I couldn’t imagine the elderly doing it.
Sex as a teenager. Back seat gropings. Steamed up windows. Crazy hot desire.
He knew where I worked. He sent roses. He wasn’t my boyfriend. He followed me to the bus stop. I began seeing him. I was young.
I couldn’t afford the rent. We had bad sex.
Gino liked my body. He wasn’t selfish. He put me first.
M says good sex starts before the sex act. She says BQ knew how to make everything romantic. He wrote poetry. He was gentle and sweet. Neither of them knew how to have a healthy relationship. It didn’t last.
SL was her most boring lover. He wouldn’t dance. He wanted sex in bed or on the couch.
JG was adventurous. They had sex in a pick-up truck under the stars, in a storage room, in the bathtub.
Panda says her worst sexual experiences were a little over twenty years ago when she was hanging out at lesbian bars like Maud’s and Amelia’s. She’d pick up hot women and go home with them. She’d make love to them but they didn’t return the favor. This happened fifteen times. I asked if she thought this was because she was butch, and she said yes. Her best experience was with an attorney. She was good to her in bed. They saw each other regularly. She went down on Panda any time she wanted. Panda fell in love with her but the woman was in a relationship with someone on the East Coast.
Bee says good sex means feeling comfortable in her body around her lover. That she can walk around naked in front of him and not feel embarrassed. It means knowing he will take care of her in bed. That they know how to please her and do whatever it takes to bring her to orgasm. Good sex has nothing to do with penis size or a guy’s stamina or that they have six pack abs. It has nothing to do with how handsome they are. It has to do with their humanity, their respect for women. It has to do with whether or not they like women. If a guy thinks that sex equals what he wants to do in bed without considering what his partner wants, this is bad sex. If a guy thinks he can disparage a woman’s body, then this is bad sex because it carries over into bed. If a guy thinks he doesn’t have to work very hard in bed because he has a big dick, this is bad sex.
When I was thirty I dated someone who liked seeing more than one person at a time. I tried this. I couldn’t do it.
When a guy listens to you it’s sexy.
When a guy sticks up for you it’s sexy.
When a guy hears what you need it’s sexy.
When a guy lets you in it’s sexy.
Eliza Mimski’s work has appeared in Entropy, Poets Reading the News, the Eunoia Review as well as other publications. This year, she was a finalist in the San Francisco Writers Conference contest, in adult fiction. She was also a finalist in UK’s Fortnight Poetry Contest.